Discovering the Wheel of Consent: A Transformational Tool for Intimacy and Communication

“The Wheel of Consent is a foundational tool for all human relating – between friends, family, colleagues and intimate partners”.

- Dr. Betty Martin, founder.

When we first came across the Wheel of Consent, we assumed it was solely about physical touch — perhaps a framework for navigating boundaries within sensual or therapeutic massage. But we quickly learned it goes far deeper than that. The Wheel of Consent is a revolutionary approach to understanding human interaction, intimacy, boundaries, and communication across every type of relationship.

Created by Dr. Betty Martin — a former chiropractor, certified surrogate partner, Sexological Bodyworker, and intimacy educator — the Wheel of Consent grew out of over 40 years of hands-on practice in working with clients around touch, consent, and body awareness. Dr. Martin’s recent book, The Art of Receiving and Giving, brings this powerful model to a wider audience and is quickly becoming a foundational text in the fields of somatic therapy, authentic Tantra, and conscious touch.

What Is the Wheel of Consent?

The Wheel of Consent is a simple but profound model that maps out four dynamic roles: Giving, Receiving, Taking, and Allowing. It invites us to become more aware of who is doing and who it is for in any given interaction — whether that’s an intimate moment, a business exchange, or a heartfelt conversation.

This model isn’t just for those working with sensual or tantric massage. It’s an invaluable framework for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and creating deeper, more authentic relationships — whether with lovers, friends, family, or colleagues.

In essence, the Wheel of Consent helps us:

• Clarify our intentions and desires

• Navigate boundaries with ease and honesty

• Improve our ability to give and receive without guilt or confusion

• Expand our sensual and emotional intelligence

• Cultivate trust and respect in both professional and personal relationships

Why It Matters in Tantric Practice

For those of us working in or receiving tantric massage or conscious touch therapies, the Wheel of Consent is a game-changer. It encourages both practitioner and client to be crystal-clear on who is giving, who is receiving, and why — bringing greater depth, presence, and safety to the session.

Being grounded in consent strengthens the therapeutic container and opens new layers of intimacy, healing, and transformation.

Applying the Wheel in Daily Life

What’s beautiful about this model is that it’s not just for professionals. The Wheel of Consent can be explored through workshops, online videos, and even in playful exercises with a trusted partner. You can begin to notice how often you say “yes” when you mean “maybe,” or how often you give without really wanting to. This awareness opens the door to our greater authenticity and self-respect.

Whether you're dealing with interpersonal challenges, emotional disconnection, or simply want to be more in tune with your own body and boundaries, the Wheel of Consent offers practical tools that can transform how you relate to yourself and others.

Learn More and Explore Further

There are many resources, videos, and articles available online that go deeper into this model. If you are curious about authentic Tantra, healing touch, or simply wish to become more conscious in your relationships, I highly recommend exploring this powerful work.

Even one new insight into your giving/receiving dynamic can ripple into profound changes in how you relate — in your intimacy, in your work, and in your inner world.

With warm, conscious embrace

Tantric Harmony ✨